While there is no "right" or "wrong" length of time to be engaged, the average pre-wedding engagement period is around 15 months. For a conventional wedding, this makes sense, as the list of decisions to make and research is quite exhaustive – and potentially exhausting.
Unexpected delays can seriously increase your wedding expenses. Compiling a chronological pre-wedding checklist is one of the best ways to ensure you stay on track financially – and logistically.
The following list offers ideas for what you need to do – and when you need to do it. It's based on an average fifteen-month engagement.
Twelve or More Months Before the Wedding
- Set a budget: Determine how much you can realistically afford to spend on your wedding and allocate funds accordingly.
- Draft a guest list: Begin compiling a list of potential guests and estimate the total attendees.
- Choose a wedding date: Select a few potential dates and consider factors like venue availability, weather, and guest convenience.
- Book a venue: Research and visit potential ceremony and reception venues, then book your preferred location.
- Hire a wedding planner (optional): If you choose to work with a wedding planner, start researching and interviewing candidates.
Nine to Eleven Months Before the Wedding
- Choose your wedding party: Select your bridesmaids, groomsmen, and other attendants.
- Hire priority vendors: Book essential vendors like your photographer, videographer, caterer, and entertainment.
- Shop for a wedding dress: Begin browsing styles and designers and schedule appointments at bridal boutiques.
- Create a wedding website: Set up a website to inform guests about your wedding details and accommodations.
- Plan your engagement party (optional): If you choose to have an engagement party, start planning the details.
Six to Eight Months Before the Wedding
- Send save-the-dates: Mail out save-the-date cards to give guests ample notice of your wedding date and location.
- Select a color scheme and theme: Decide on your wedding colors and overall aesthetic to guide your planning decisions.
- Choose your attire: Finalize your wedding dress, veil, and accessories, and select attire for the groom and wedding party.
- Book remaining vendors: Hire additional vendors like your florist, transportation, and rental companies.
- Arrange hotel room blocks: Reserve rooms at nearby hotels for out-of-town guests.
Four to Five Months Before the Wedding
- Plan your honeymoon: Research destinations, book travel, and accommodations, and apply for passports if needed.
- Order invitations: Finalize your invitation design and wording, and place your order.
- Schedule tastings: Attend tastings with your caterer and baker to finalize your menu and wedding cake.
- Book rehearsal dinner venue: Choose a location for your rehearsal dinner and make a reservation.
- Begin planning décor: Start brainstorming and purchasing décor elements like centerpieces, signage, and lighting.
Two to Three Months Before the Wedding
- Mail invitations: Send your wedding invitations, including RSVP cards and any necessary inserts.
- Arrange fittings: Schedule dress fittings for the bride and alterations for the groom and wedding party.
- Finalize day-of timeline: Create a detailed timeline for your wedding day, including vendor arrivals and critical events.
- Confirm vendor details: Chat with all vendors to confirm logistics, payments, and any last-minute changes.
- Write vows: If you're writing your own vows, begin drafting and refining them.
One Month Before the Wedding
- Obtain marriage license: Apply for your marriage license, following your local jurisdiction's requirements.
- Create a seating chart: Finalize your reception seating chart and create place cards or a seating display.
- Confirm RSVPs: Follow up with guests who have yet to respond and provide a final headcount to your vendors.
- Schedule final payments: Arrange to make final payments to vendors and ensure all contracts are signed.
- Organize rehearsal and rehearsal dinner: Confirm details with your officiant and rehearsal dinner venue, and send out invitations.
Two Weeks Before the Wedding
- Break-in shoes: Wear your wedding shoes around the house to break them in and avoid blisters.
- Finalize printed materials: Confirm details and quantities for programs, menus, and any other day-of stationery.
- Assign day-of roles: Delegate tasks to your wedding party and family members, like managing the guest book or distributing tips.
- Pack for honeymoon: Begin packing your luggage and ensuring you have all the necessary documents and reservations.
- Attend final fittings: Have your last dress fitting and ensure all attire is fitted correctly and ready for the big day.
One Week Before the Wedding
- Confirm final details: Chat with all vendors one last time to ensure everyone is on the same page.
- Pick up attire: Collect your wedding dress, veil, and any other attire from the bridal shop or alterations.
- Pack wedding day essentials: Gather all items needed for the wedding day, like rings, marriage license, and emergency kit.
- Arrange for payments: Prepare tips and final payments for vendors and assign someone to distribute them on the day.
- Take time for self-care: Schedule some relaxation time, like a massage or a night in with your partner, to de-stress before the big day.
Wedding Day
- Eat a healthy breakfast: Start your day with a nutritious meal to keep your energy levels up.
- Allow plenty of time for getting ready: To avoid feeling rushed, give yourself ample time for hair, makeup, and dressing.
- Exchange gifts (optional): If you and your partner plan to exchange gifts do so before the ceremony.
- Take a moment together: Steal a quiet moment with your soon-to-be spouse to connect and reflect on your love.
- Enjoy every moment: Take in all the love, laughter, and joy surrounding you, and cherish every moment of your special day.
Post-Wedding
- Send thank-you notes: Express your gratitude to guests, attendants, and vendors with handwritten thank-you cards.
- Preserve your attire: Clean and preserve your wedding dress and other clothing.
- Review vendor contracts: Ensure all vendor contracts have been fulfilled and address any outstanding issues.
- Obtain marriage certificate: Confirm that your officiant has filed your marriage license and obtain your official marriage certificate.
- Embrace newlywed life: Settle into your new life as a married couple and enjoy the love and support of your family and friends.
The Takeaway
Planning a traditional wedding involves hundreds of tasks, large and small. By compiling a checklist and working through it step by step, you can improve your odds of negotiating the process as painlessly as possible.
While staying on top of your checklist is essential, it's equally important to be flexible and adaptable. Unexpected challenges may arise, but with a positive attitude and a robust support system, you can navigate any obstacle with grace and resilience.
